Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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