I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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