just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sext me about skeletons
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
