I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
