I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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