i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
