i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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