We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I will pee on everything he values.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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