I take back everything I said about communal showers
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
