Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
