Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize