One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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