From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
