Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize