Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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