he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize