Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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