I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
