I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just found a bag of teeth...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
