I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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