If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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