im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
