Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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