So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
