had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize