nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize