His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
