My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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