I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
