in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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