Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
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