Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
