You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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