nut hugger
smell my finger.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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