i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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