if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
