hotel room ftw
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
