Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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