stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
