I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
