There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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