I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
