He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
