he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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