...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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