i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
