i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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