Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize