Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
