Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
