so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
