dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
