but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
