Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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