I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
