Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
