12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
