hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
