Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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