So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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